Funny headline

Wig sounding foolish

Opened up the K.C. Star to read the sports section this morning and immediately noticed the lead story, "Trouble Brewing". The graphic accompanying the story was hilariously terribe. Normally I like, or at least understand, the Star's "photoillustrations". This one, I just didn't really get. Link.

There was a white guy with a tattoo of a flaming basketball on his upper forearm. A finger was pointing tauntingly at the man, seemingly at the man's tattoo, in fact. Like, 'Hey, moron, why'd you get that tattoo? And once you decided to get that tattoo why'd you get it there.' In response to the finger being pointed at him, Dikembe Mutumbo style, this inked-up individual had his inked-up arm cocked, fist clenched, as if about to throw a punch, presumably at the finger pointing taunter.

To further add to the chaos there is a bar stool tipping over, a beer bottle falling to the ground along with a blue plastic cup. But, luckily for all involved, the beer mug is safely sitting on the table.

Yes, I think we can safely assume this is exactly how bar fights go down. Lesson to be learned from the graphic: do not taunt white men with flaming basketballs tatooed on their arms.

As for the lesson to be learned from the story itself, that's a little tougher.

I started reading assuming that it was going to be another in a long line of hatchet jobs taking shots at Mizzou, Mizzou basketball, Columbia, The Athena Five, Stefhon Hannah and Mike Anderson. For the most part I was right. There was plenty of MU bashing, none of which I feel inclined to repeat in this space.

But there was also a nice reward for those who read to the end of the article. Before we get into that, let me preface by saying I thought this whole story was a complete piece of shit and there was no reason for it being published. Still, that doesn't mean the part about KU wasn't pretty funny.

Late in the article the writer goes "undercover" to a KU nightclub called The Hawk, where the "investigative journalist" saw Darnell Jackson and other Beakers out. Imagine the writer's excitement as he wrote the following:

Self says of-age KU players are allowed to enter bars but are forbidden from entering certain ones. He refused to say which bars are off limits.

“When you recruit guys, you have to trust them to make good decisions,” he says. “They are going to be put in situations to make decisions.”

After the Giddens incident in 2005, Self says players were not allowed to be in bars through that summer. The stabbing intensified rules for KU players, including the implementation of a curfew. Self says players usually are not allowed to be out past 11 p.m. on a weeknight during the season, and “not ever after midnight.”

On this night, midnight was nearly an hour ago.

After Self learned Friday the four KU players at The Hawk were there after midnight, he changed his earlier statement to say players’ curfew Wednesday was 1 a.m. Then he said it was 1:15 a.m. He finally said players had no curfew because the Jayhawks had no game.

“I’m not positive we had one or not,” Self said.

That's pretty funny stuff from the Wig, even though the writer is a hack who probably blindsided him with the questions. I expect the Star's apology and retraction momentarily.

The Kansas City Star: Allure of nightclubs can be strong for athletes.

Perkins invited Manning to Super Bowl

Kansas athletic director Lew Perkins is an important man. If you couldn't tell just how important he is from trying to boot Phog Allen's grandkids from their seats at KU basketball games or from him selling an undeserving football team to the Orange Bowl (and still finishing below lots of two loss teams) you will surely be educated from his comments Monday night.

By now most of you have heard that sweet Lew was in the Gatorade suite sitting in front of Peyton Manning during the Super Bowl. Well, what you might not know is that Lew is the reason Peyton was at the game at all. The Kansas City Star's Mike DeArmond elaborates:

Prior to Monday night’s tipoff, Jayhawks athletic director Lew Perkins gave this flippant answer to the flippant question of whether KU athletic department funds paid for the suite seat he had at Sunday night’s Super Bowl.

“You mean the suite I invited Peyton (Manning) to?” Perkins said. “No, you had to make the Orange Bowl to get that.”

That was not the last reference to the Orange Bowl Monday night. At halftime, KU recognized its Orange Bowl champion football team.

A small percentage of the Kansas students wore orange-colored T-shirts to signify the Jayhawks’ Orange Bowl win over Virginia Tech. Of course, it was no coincidence that they wore them with Missouri in town, as KU trotted out the trophy at halftime along with about 25 players and head coach Mark Mangino.

There you have it, folks. Proof that Lew Perkins is a very, very important man. Just ask him. And not only is he important, he's also magnanimous. How else would Peyton have had a chance to watch his brother if not for Lew?

The Kansas City Star: Border War Buzz.